Gordies the 13th

Funniest Comic:

• Spy X Family (Chris)
• Peacemaker Tries Hard (Matt)

Best Manga You Read This Year:

• Chainsaw Man (Chris)
• Berserk (Matt)

Harley Quinn Memorial Award for DC Character from Other Media Not Yet in Comics:

• Eagley (Matt)

Most Buckwild Use of Wrestling Outside of Wrestling:

• Gohan casually does a sheer drop brainbuster in Dragonball Super Hero (Chris)
• Optimus Prime’s rainmaker/german suplex followed by Jetfire’s superkick in Transformers #1 (Matt)

Chris’s Shirt Memorial Award for Hypest Tear-Your-Shirt-Off Moment:

• Batman vs. Multiversal Zur-en-Arrhs (Chris)
• Batman vs. Not Joker Red Mask (Matt)

Union Strong Award for Movie or Show You Wanted to Talk About But Didn’t Out of Solidarity for the Unions:

• Barbie (Matt)

Game of the Year:

• LoZ: TotK (Chris, traditional)
• Vampire Survivors (Chris, you are a fool if you believe it was not VS’s year)
• Alan Wake 2 (Matt)

Favorite Thing That Came Out Before 2023 But This is the Year You Got Into It:

• Dragonball / Akira Toriyama (Chris)
• Armored Core (Matt)

Cow Tools Presents Poop Butt Award for ESE Disagreement:

• Ambush Bug

Most Beautiful Song Released in 2023:

• SZA - Kill Bill

Raddest Weapon (non-sword):

• God of War: Leviathan Axe (Chris)
• God of War: The Mask from the Movie the Mask (Matt)
• Batman: Shark Repellant Used on the Shark That is Also The Joker (Matt)
• Emeritus: Doom Shotgun
• Emeritus: SotN Crissaegrim

Jarnathan D&D Movie Award for Most Unexpectedly Fun Character in Media 2023:

• Piccolo and his cute phone case (Chris)
• Alan, Barbie (Matt)

Most Delicious Snack:

• Cajun Filet Biscuit (Chris)
• Paisley Park Purple Lemonade (Matt)

Doughboy Award for Character That Ain’t Ever Getting Over No Matter How Hard You Try:

• Rek-Rap (Chris)
• Johnny Thunder (Matt)
• Batman of Zur-En-Arrh (Everyone, probably, except comic writers)

Best Weird Little Freak:

• Rek-Rap
• Beast Girl, Unstoppable Doom Patrol (special runner-up)

Matt Wilson Award for Reference So Blatant Yet Perfect It Made You Lean Over to Your Wife and Whisper “Akira”:

• “It’s Going to be the Final Chapter,” Doc Ock - Spider-Man 2

Jared Stevens Memorial Award for Best or Possibly Worst Dirtbag Hero in Comics:

• Peacemaker (Chris)
• Clea (juxtaposed with Stephen) Hallow’s Eve (Matt)
• Guts (tragic dirtbag)

Award for Best Matt Wagner Series the WRA Hosts Haven’t Read Despite Being Fans of Matt Wagner:

• Mage: The Hero Defined (Chris)
• Zorro/Django (Matt)
• "We know what you’re getting at, Brad, we’re going to get to it"

Most Hardboiled Humphrey Bogart-Style Noir Moment You Read:

• Lies of Locke Lamora (Chris)
• The Good Asian (Matt)
• Parasocial (Matt)

Best Kyle Starks Comic 2023:

• Fuck This Place/I Hate This Place (Chris, probably best)
• Peacemaker Tries Hard (Chris, pure joy)
• Where Monsters Lie (Matt)

Most Embarrassing Comics Moment:

• Reading Berserk on an Airplane (Chris)
• Geoff Johns Kills the JSA to Start a New JSA Series (Matt)
• Danger Street (did not read, but probably)

Hbomberguy (Derogatory) Award for Worst Ripoff or Rehash 2023:

• The Flash movie

Hbomberguy (Complimentary) Award for Best Revisited or Revamped Concept 2023:

• Dragonball Super (Chris)
• Jonathan Hickman Makes an Ultimate Universe That’s Good (Matt)

Texter’s Choice Award:

• AEW Dynamite
• Amazing Spider-Man or Batman

Favorite Comics Catch-Up or Older Comic Read in 2023:

• Berserk (Chris)
• Defenders Beyond (Matt)

Best Comic You Were Too Busy To Keep Up With Because You Were Reading Bad Comics:

• Unstoppable Doom Patrol (Chris)
• Ram V Detective Comics (Matt)

669 Gimmick Street Award for Best Pod Conversation:

• Filmation Ghostbusters on Gimmick Street & Dan Ackroyd Ghost Blowjob (winner)
• Berserk Catch-Ups
• Jurgies
• Thursday Night Raw

Commitment to the Bit Memorial Award for Best Bit Left on the Cutting Room Floor:

• Blue Streak BoCo “I’m a federalé” (Matt)

Kyle Starksiest Moment Not Written By the Franchise “Hollywood” Kyle Starks:

• Optimus Prime’s German Suplex (Chris)
• Hama GI Joe: Serpentor doesn’t care if everyone here is turned into a zombie (Matt)
• Ultimate Universe: Close-up on Reed as he thinks about how much he hates this fucking guy the Maker

Best Sword:

• Master Sword (Chris)
• Dragonslayer, Berserk (Matt)

Outstanding Achievement in Marvel Comics Bullshit:

• Ryan North’s Fantastic Four
• Galactus’s Hot Mom Becoming the Phoenix
• The Flame’s Identity and Anti-Venom, Spider-Man 2

Hobby You’re Most Irrationally Tempted to Pick Up:

• Magic the Gathering with LotR/other crossovers (Chris)
• Gunpla (Matt)

Scott Pilgrim Playing Baldur’s Gate 3 in Versus Mode Award for Most Interesting Revisit to an Existing Franchise:

• Dragonball Super, again, I’m sorry (Chris)
• Hickman’s Ultimate Universe (Matt)

Definitely Not the Flash Award for Best Use of the Multiverse Concept:

• Across the Spider-Verse

Sensational Spider-Character Find of 2023 Award for Most Exciting Spider-Character or Take on a Spider-Character:

• Hallow’s Eve (Chris)
• Rek-Rap (Matt)

Intercontinental Champion:

• Kyle Starks

Gordie in the Bank Winner:

• Chip Zdarsky